Do you think my husband is mentally ill or just a jerk?

Question

Do you think my husband is mentally ill or just a jerk?
I have been married almost yrs. It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. He use to drink and admitted to being an alcoholic. He has not drank in yrs. I dont know if the way he is is caused by being a dry alcholic or if he drank because he is mental... My husband is like different people. He can be so nice, kind and loving and then in an instant his facial features change and he turns into the meanest person I have ever met. He will be really rude or mean. Many times he just screams and screams at me. He does not remember things right. I can tell him a story of something I did and the next day hell transfer himself into the story and say it was his incident and not mine. He leaves me voice mails telling me how much he loves me and a week later he is screaming that he hates me and he wants a divorce. He treats his daughters very good but treats my sons his stepsons, they are like crap.. When he is in one of these spells. I can do NOTHING right.

Answer

The fact that he can discern,i.e. treats his granddaughters good but not others is one example of his ability to control himself if he wants to.brbrMy husband can turn into a raving maniac real fast and then it seems minutes later he acts as though nothing happened. the solution or cause is due to a trauma to the brain years ago and was told it would be worse in old age and it is.However, he had a vicious temper before that happened and I realized it was due to how his father treated him. Doesnt excuse it but there is a reason.brbrI dont imagine he would agree to evaluation by a professional even if you told him you could not stay in this marriage due to the stress he is causing but you might ask him. I can so identify with you. Prayers that this gets resolved.brbrAs I red some of the answers since writing this, I agree he could be bi polarThere is much info on the internet on this as to symptoms,conditions but they all say there are great highs as well as lows. Just type in Bipolar on any search. It is worth it.